Poetry

Today I made a wish to die.
I don't think that I can lie.
Both to myself and everyone around.
I'm down beneath the ground.

I have fewer fingers than the times I woke up last night,
Thinking, how to make wrong things right.
And no, I didn't find an answer,
Just grew my emotional cancer.

I wish I killed myself last night,
Done something to make things right.
Because now they're not,
I wish my body could just rot.

Oh, why are you an ocean, life?
Just to laugh at my own internal strife?
We know what causes every ocean's tide,
But I can't figure out, what causes mine.

You hurt me once upon a time,
But lets be real, I hurt you too.
The scars we proudly wear just shine.
Is it a dream to start anew?